I look no different today than I did yesterday or even Monday. Monday I looked no different from any other day but I felt it as I had just found out I was pregnant. Early days but there it was 2 little lines on the second and third test in 2 days. By saturday I had worked out I was 5 weeks and due a late april/early may baby. I was over the moon my little monkey was going to be a big brother. Sadly I do not think that is the case. I started bleeding yesterday, no pain nothing just lots of blood. It seemed to ease and almost stop but I know what it means. I am trying to have faith that little bean is still in there but as today carries on the same way yesterday did my faith is waning so much.
I feel broken and empty inside. Hubby is gutted but I think its different for men hell its not their body expelling the life of something you have tried for for so long.
Having never gone through this before I dont know what the procedures are. I know that it has to run its course and if when the bleeding stops I have 2 little lines there then maybe bean is a fighter but I cannot see how bean can still be there and now im starting to ache.
I dont want to see anyone I just want to be with my guys. I am finding it hard to do anything but I have to carry on there is nothing I can do to stop or prevent what is happening I just need to grieve for lil bean.
