Well Well Well

Well I havent been on here for about a week now due to one thing and another, mainly because Ive not been too well and then with work and the little monkey its just been crazy. At the moment Im a little better, no voice but no immediate pain which is always a good thing. 

I am however a bit peeved off. I got into an argument friday with my hubby as everyone does at some point over the dragon in law. Now because I needed to rant and vent before I went off to work I thought I would get support off a website that I frequent. By the time I got home that night the air was clear but I had had a few responses to my rant. Not wanting to be rude I glanced and was told I had confused people, which when I rant I am aware I do because my mind switches so quickly from topics and I have so much to say and it can sometime seem a bit jumbled. I tried to clarify myself which earned I thought not so nice replies. I wish I could delete it but there is no option so I wrote a reply defending myself, my choice and my husband. The replies I got made it sound as though I was on the verge of divorce through smothering my husband, which I can tell you I am not. 

The argument was mainly because he had been busy all week in work and so hadnt always responded to me yet was able to phone his mother who was blanking us because she wanted to guilt hubby and it worked 6 days of silent treatment and he caved whereas I thought it was hysterical giving us peace and quiet. 

Because I wrote this I got told it was my hubbys subtle way of telling me to give him space and implying I should only text him in work in an emergency. Hubby rings me on mornings he has taken monkey to creche just to say morning as I leave before he gets up and to say how monkey was he then requests I ring him when I pick monkey up - he likes to know how hes been if hes eaten his food and behaved etc - he then rings on his way home from work. Other than the creche thing we have always done this the entire time we have been together. It is what works for us, just like when Im home and he leaves for work I always have a kiss goodbye as does monkey. 

So for all those wannabe therapists out there - sometimes when your husband doesnt answer your text because he is busy - maybe he is just busy not not answering because he wants space from you but is too gutless to say that. 

Also my husband has a lovely - if you can call any pair of testicles lovely as they kind of just hang there hairily - pair. Which he does not keep in his mothers purse. He defends his family just as I do against people who make incorrect judgements on it. I dont comment negatively on your issues and just because they are different to my dragon in law issues does not mean they are more important.

Hopefully I have made my point clearly and not rambled on too much.

Whats the difference between outlaws and inlaws?

As the joke goes outlaws are wanted and I never thought it would be that true. My mother always says how much she loved her mother in law, my husband likes his, my best friend likes hers, my sister in law (his side) pretends to like hers (she used to slag her off before having kids and discovering free babysitter, cleaner, money giver etc) but me and mine - NO.

It has pretty much always been the same way except I put up and shut up not to upset hubs but then I had a baby and there was no way I was going to be told how to raise my child nor was I going to let him go through what I and a few other family members went/go through with her. You see she is quite subtle at insulting someone but making you think you are paranoid in thinking its a jab at you and then getting upset because you took offence. For example to her great aunt "you and your daughter are so alike - all belly and no waist. Im lucky I have a waist." Then about her niece in front of someone she barely knew "oh so and so needs to do more exercise, more running because her thighs see they rub together." Now this girl at the time was under 5ft and barely a size 10 now she is closer to a 6 and is a professional dancer so her legs are muscle.

My son was 1 day old getting ready to leave the hospital and my friend popped by to see us with her 3 yr old, who was so proud that she could say the shortened version of my sons name when my mother in law went after her correcting her saying " No his name is _____ not __" I was furious!! As well as that when he was first born my son according to my hubby looked like my nephew, oh if we did. There was no way he looked anything like my family he was the spit of my husband as a baby and that was that even my grandmother in law was the same. So as you can tell my 1st days of motherhood were marred by a woman and her mother chastising me for having him cold (when you know a babys temperature is checked by its core body and not the extremeties), refusing to believe he was a part of my family, buying clothes becayse the outfits we had we scruffy (even though they were brand new because he was too small for the stuff we had been given so had to buy new onesies) oh and buying him a blankie bear because her granddaughter loves hers so much and doesnt go anywhere without it (so she buys something hoping to make it his comforter - lets just say I have no clue where it is lol)

Thats another thing im making a rod for my back because OMG i breastfeed and (as if that isnt shocking enough for you) I have a CLOTH BUMMED baby!!! I know I know how have I still got custody? Apparently Im ruining my hubbys experience by not bottle feeding as well as all the washing im going to be doing with the dirty nappies. I dont for the record spend all my time washing nappies they go on every few days just like the normal washing.  She hadnt even seen or heard anything about the new nappies and to be fair even friends who had kids thought we were stupid going down the cloth route but at least took time to listen and didnt pass judgement unlike some.

Now you are thinking it cant possibly get any worse and she cant be that bad ha lets take you 6 weeks after my baby was born to my wedding day. I dont recomment getting married 6 weeks after you have a baby mind leave it at least 12!! Anyway what do you generally say to the bride regardless of who you are to her?

Thats right things like nice dress, nice church, nice service, nice venue, nice buffet even  a welcome to the family what did I get on my wedding day? Oh is he still sleeping? Is he STILL feeding? Shall I cut the cake up now? No seriously that is all that was said to me on my wedding day by his mother. Now surely the rest of his immediate family said something let me think nothing off his nan nothing off the sister in law oh and a stand up routine by his brother that had nothing to do with me or the wedding and was just an excuse for him to portray how unfunny he is. Maybe it had something to do with the fact the granddaughter wasnt bridesmaid I only had adult ones and she was too young and her mother wasnt a bridesmaid. Not that I wanted her as one anyway. 

Well boy what a rant that was but it does feel quite cathartic to get it all out especially as she is coming around tonight to drive me insane.

I do feel saddened that it has come to this and I am aware how lucky I am to have a husband who defends me but I cant let my children be raised amongst that kind of hostility. My husband does ask me to try and I do keep a civil tongue in my head but it has taken almost a decade to do the damage she has done its going to take a lot longer to make amends especially when she doesnt think she is in the wrong. Last xmas was the first in 3 years that she didnt ruin. I want to move far away but failing that get a really big dog (phobia of them)