Breast or Bottle
Cloth or Sposie
Wean @ 4 months or at 6 months
BLW or Puree
No cry or CIO
Babywear or Pushchair
Co-sleep or Cot
These seem to be the things that set mum against mum, each one declaring their way the superior and correct way without chance of rebuttle. It really frustrates me that people jump to conclusions mainly because of what they have heard, experienced from 30+ years back or the fact that it is a different idea to what they view as the norm.
When I got pregnant I always knew I wanted to breastfeed there was no doubt in my mind about it, my mother had breastfed 3 kids and I remember my auntie breastfeeding hers so to me that was the norm. While pregnant I was asked what I intended to do, which I did think was a bizarre question. However in response to breastfeed I was met with:
"Oh I really hope you are able to I know it means alot"
"You will never be able to do it with those boobs" (I was a G cup)
"You will suffocate the little bugger"
"My sister almost suffocated her daughter because she has big boobs" (it was 20+ years ago)
Then 2 had a discussion about me in my presence about how I will be leaning over the bed dangling my boobs to feed him. Now they probably didnt mean anything by it but as a first time soon to be mum it worried me - was it really that hard? Would I be able to do it?
My midwife was brilliant and simply said of course I can its just finding a position that works and she was right. It was hard work but the moment you figure out what works for you and get into some sort of a routine it got easier.
I decided to look into cloth because it would work out cheaper more so than being greener. Also have you seen cloth nappies, they are so darn cute! Again I seemed to be the only one in my little group that considered using them, everyone thought it was too much hard work because they didnt know anything about them.
I babywear but I also love my pram but only got into babywearing when my monkey was 5 months and occasionally still wear him now depending on what I am doing.
I have nothing against co-sleeping and in fact have been a co-sleeper now since January. I dont mind it although its driving hubby crazy and yes sometimes I want some adult time but hopefully we are going to start him back in his new big boy cotbed soon.
I babyled weaned at 6 months with occasional homemade purees. I religiously check salt and sugar content and I dont give my child chocolate. I want him to eat proper food before he gets a taste of the junk and decides he only wants to eat that. I have friends who dont think twice about letting their babies have tea, sweets, chocolate, cake and biscuits and some of these babies arent 3 months yet. I dont judge them they are my friends and its their child. To me its not an issue as we are two different mothers trying to do our best for our children.
It really got me thinking when I read another blog in work today about how often we are judged as mothers, wives and women. At a time when we should be bonding over a lifechanging experiencewe bitch (for want of a better word) at each other and run each other down.
Only the other day I witnessed on a happy hippy mother forum a woman passing judgement on another mother she had seen out and about. When other mothers tried to point out reasons judged mum did what she did they were attacked for it. It really shocked me.
I love my friends and if I can help or advise them when they ask for it then I will try my best to. I dont judge because although I wouldnt at the end of the day it is up to them to decide what is right for their family. Unless it is totally idiotic or dangerous (leaving a sleeping baby in a car seat in a car on a main road while you are inside a house and cannot see them for example) Im quite happy to respect their choices as long as my choices are met with the same respect. I want my friends to say hey AprilFool I need help with this that and the other knowing that I wont judge them as incapable or idiotic because they asked for help just like I want to be able to ask for advise without being treated like Im a criminal.
We are all entitled to opinions I just wish we could discuss these things like grown ups and agree to disagree not turn everything into a slanging match.
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